Hands of the Clock
by pretty in orange
Summary: A story of the passing of time, and the toll it takes on a group of friends. Tosen/OC, Shuuhei/OC later on. M for mentions of suicide, murder attempts and psychotic breaks. No lemon.
1. Building Blocks

A/N: This is my second story, this time with more of a natural plotline to it. It's based on Kaname Tosen and Shuuhei Hisagi and my OC, Akina Zakuri. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and let's get the ball rolling!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, and I make no profit from this. I do own Akina, so please ask to use her.

* * *

"Kaname!" A petite redheaded girl vaulted herself at the Captain. "Everyone's ok?" The girl, Akina Zakuri, looked up at her companion, despite that he couldn't return her eye contact.

"Everyone's fine." Kaname Tosen gave her a small smile from behind his mask. He could practically feel happiness radiating off of her from that one little statement.

"That's great!" Akina bounced onto her toes, grinning. The faint blush, mostly from excitement, across her cheeks only accentuated the large scar across her left cheek.

"Are you alright?" Kaname touched her face softly.

Puzzled, Akina replied, "I've just been helping out with paperwork, nothing dangerous. Promise."

Kaname knew he really shouldn't worry; after all, Akina was low-ranked rarely submitted to fight. Still, Kaname couldn't help but worry. Unlike anyone else in Sereitei he knew what Akina's life had been like before he had taken her out of the slums of Rukongai.

"You look contemplative." Akina murmured, blinking. But she hadn't moved his hand away from her scarred cheek, and she seemed at home with him standing so close to her. "What are you thinking about?" She started to reach up, as to hold his hand, and then stopped.

"Akina, can you come here?" Akina's captain, Juushiro Ukitake, called.

"Of course!" Akina yelled back. Kaname felt her smile, but at the same time, he felt her jaw clench.

"Go. I'll talk to you later." He slowly, lowered his hand to his side.

"Right, right." Akina bounced onto her toes again and wrapped her arms around him in a hug. "Later!" She then bounced off, laughing and already talking animatedly to her captain.

Tosen listened for a minute, then turned away and headed for his division.

* * *

"Can I hang out with you?" Akina asked, hopping to sit on the edge of the counter.

Kaname was cooking, as he did in his free time. "You're always welcome. Just don't sit on the counter." Kaname smiled slightly as he heard her feet hit the floor.

"Darn it!" Akina huffed. "You didn't even turn towards me, how do you do that? Geez..." Anger gone almost immediately, she walked over to the stove.

"What did you get into?" Kaname frowned. Akina smelled strongly of dust and aged papers.

"I cleaned Captain Ukitake's office." Akina quickly moved away. "He's been having coughing fits in his office and I thought if the dust was gone it might help. I'll go take a shower if it's bothering you." Akina had backed up clear to the other side of the room.

"You're fine." Kaname assured her. Then, after a pause, he asked, "What would you do if I wasn't here?"

Akina looked up at him in horror. "You mean if you had never been here or if you suddenly disappeared?" Panic dripped into her voice and Kaname instantly felt bad.

"Never mind." He said evenly, but the damage was already done.

"Are you being sent to the world of the living or something?" Akina's voice tensed with worry. "Because I could ask to go with you. I don't-" She cut off abruptly when Kaname placed a gentle hand on top of her head.

"Hush." Kaname murmured, nudging his mask aside and leaning down to kiss her forehead gently. "You're not going to be promoted if you're nervous all the time." He scolded softly.

Akina scowled and stared at her feet, her face turning red. She'd been vying for a higher-ranking position since she graduated the academy, but secretly, Kaname was happy she hadn't gotten it. The few times he had tried to train her in battle, she had broken down to the point of having to be put under observation in the fourth division. It was best that she stayed on desk duty, for now at least.

"Something's burning." Akina's voice brought him out of his trance and he quickly stirred the pot on the stove. Tragedy averted, Akina's tone changed. "Are you ever jealous of people who can see?" She asked, tone nearly inaudible.

Kaname turned to her as he pushed his mask into place again, contemplating. Most people weren't brave enough to ask him that sort of thing, so he didn't have an immediate answer. "No." He said after a long moment. "Because I see people for who they are and don't have to look past their appearance." Stirring the stew, he wondered where she could possibly be going with this conversation.

"Is it wrong to be jealous of people who can do something you can't?" Akina's arm brushed his as she reached to turn off the stove. Kaname went silent, but Akina rushed on. "I'm so jealous of people who can fight. I want to be strong, I want to help... but every time I try to even practice, I..." Akina shuddered, no doubt remembering her time in practice sparring.

"Give it some time." Kaname patted her hair affectionately. "Right now, just try to enjoy being safe on desk duty." That seemed to placate the girl, so instead of continuing on that topic, he switched subjects. "Do you want to eat with me?" He calculated where he was and then opened the cupboard for bowls.

"No thanks." Akina grinned, seeming to have bounced back efficiently. "I've got some work to do and I need to talk to Captain Unohana after the captain's meeting is over. So I'll talk to you later." As usual, she gave him a lingering hug before dashing out the door.

As usual, Kaname relished that contact.

* * *

A/N: So there's the first chapter. I hope you liked it, but go ahead, review and tell me what you think, ok? So, what did you think?


	2. Near Breakdowns and Kisses

A/N: This chapter took freaking forever to write out by hand, and even longer to type up. So I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I make no profit from this.

* * *

"You're sure about this?" Kaname asked as he drew his zanpakuto. "Because I don't think you should be sparring after last time." Akina looked down at that, trying to steady her shaking hands.

"I need to be able to fight." She murmured, "I'm not even sure why they let me graduate the academy when I can't fight at all. I don't want to let anyone down or anyone to get hurt because they have to protect me. I'm sick of being a liability, Kaname!" Akina flinched at the volume of her own voice. She only yelled when she was extremely mad, and even then her anger was almost always directed at herself anyway.

"Alright." Kaname relented. "Tell me if you need to stop." He stood in a defensive position, and waited for her to make the first strike. Akina hesitated, and then made a move as if to knock his sword from his hands. Kaname retaliated just enough to switch her to defense, then took a few more strikes at her zanpakuto; he was impressed, really, she wasn't panicking like she had last time and so many times before. Still, he sheathed his zanpakuto and stepped back. "We're done for now." He paused, realizing just how hard she was breathing. "Akina, are you alright?" He stepped forward, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Oh, yeah, I'm ok." Akina gave a little, nervous laugh. "Sorry, I think I'm out of shape. No one usually spars with me." Another little laugh tailed that. Kaname felt paranoia kicking in, saying that Akina was going to have another nervous breakdown. "Please don't take me to the fourth." Akina murmured. "Please. I've been looking into transferring there and they won't want me if they know I still get like this." Akina sounded close to tears.

Kaname gave up; he didn't care what people saw or thought. He drew Akina close and held her there. Their relationship had been on the fence for years; they were more than best friends and less than lovers. Still, the lingering hugs, kisses that were never lips on lips, and overall closeness tended to confuse their friends.

"Sorry." Akina's tears dripped off of her chin, into Kaname's shihakusho as she faked a smile. "I must be an embarrassment to you when I'm like this." She swallowed hard. "I'm sorry. I'll do better next time." Kaname caught her chin, feeling the tears and running his thumb across her bottom lip.

"You're never an embarrassment to me." He said evenly. "You're kind and you try as hard as you can to help. I knew the day I took you from Rukongai you would make a great soul reaper. Just because you're not there yet doesn't mean you'll never be." He paused for a moment to knock his mask away from his face, then, using his hand on her chin as a guide, he leaned down and kissed her softly.

From a distance, Shuuhei and Komamura watched in silence.

* * *

Hours later, Akina sat in her Captain's office. Her Captain Ukitake had gone to bed nearly an hour earlier.

But Akina still sat in a chair, one hand clutching papers she had been told to toss out, the fingers of the other hand running across her lips.

Kaname, her Kaname Tosen, had kissed her. Sure, his lips had frequented her cheeks, temples, forehead and her hair, but Kaname had genuinely kissed her. Slowly, her mind drifted to sadder things. She'd wanted to have a romantic relationship with him since a few days after he took her away from that horrid place she had called home. She tried hard not to think about that place with her Mother, but some memories creep in no matter how hard you try.

Her mother trying to drown her after the stillborn was born. It had barely been two weeks, and Akina was sure her Mother should still be resting. But she had been in the bath, and Mother had walked in, pushed her head under all the while crying and screaming. The murder attempts hadn't stopped, and every time her Mother said something about killing Akina "before someone else did". Drowning, knives, strangling, Akina had escaped everything she could've never wanted to think about before she turned eighteen. But on her eighteenth birthday, she had run away. Anywhere is better was her motto, but she hadn't gotten far before she ran into Kaname Tosen. He asked her what she was running from, and when she explained, he took her back to Sereitei and enrolled her in the academy. She had trusted him implicitly ever since and he had never let her down.

"Why are you still up?" Kaname stepped inside Juushiro's office. "And why are you alone?" Akina jolted to present, laughing out loud at herself.

"I just got caught up thinking. I need to clean up a bit and then I'll go to bed, ok?" Akina stood and dropped the papers in the trash. "Why are you still awake?" She bustled around the office, cleaning up.

"I couldn't sleep." Kaname sighed, taking large steps over to her. "I needed something."

Akina froze and then looked at him. "What do you need?" She hopped up and hurried to him, closing the distance. Kaname rarely needed her help with anything.

"I need to know you're not just compliant because you care about me platonically." Kaname's voice was even. "I want to know that you care about me in the same way I care about you."

Akina dropped the rest of the trash into the bin and hugged him gently. "Kaname, I've been in love with you practically since I met you." She smiled up at him, unbothered that he couldn't physically see it. "That's never changed. So you don't have to worry about that, ok?" Reaching up, she pulled him down enough for her to kiss his forehead. "Now, I think we should both get some sleep. I'll talk to you in the morning, ok?"

Kaname nodded, pulling his mask aside to kiss her forehead and then leaving without another word.

Akina smiled and wiped the happy tears gathering in her eyes away. For once, everything was going exactly her way.

* * *

A/N: This chapter took a long time to type up from handwritten, and then everything had to be re-edited. I had to forget an important element, of course. That's just how I am.


	3. Protective

A/N: If you talk to me frequently, you will know that I have frequent nightmares about this story. Keep that in mind if things seem to get very dark from here on.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach; I make no profit from this.

* * *

"Damn it..." Akina woke up in a cold sweat, her whole body shaking. She didn't need to be scared about that kind of thing, she tried to assure herself. Kaname could take care of himself. Still, she couldn't help herself. She pulled on her shihakusho over her summer pajamas and bolted out the door.

* * *

There were a lot of hollows, a ridiculous amount for any area. But Kaname was positive he could handle them. Until reinforcements came at the very least. He could feel blood running down his arm from a hollow's attack, but in that same plain of thought, he knew the wound wouldn't cause him to lose consciousness, so it didn't matter. He still had use of his arm so hopefully everything would be perfectly fine.

Footsteps came up behind him, and he recognized the familiar spiritual pressure instantly. "Akina. Go back, now." He loved her, he loved her even though they hadn't traded the saying yet, but she wasn't the best fighter by far. She would only get in the way, and he could not have her getting hurt.

"I don't want to leave you here alone." A metallic sound came as Akina unsheathed her zanpakuto. One of these days she'd be reprimanded for the little things she did, hesitation to come when Captain Ukitake called her, disappearing frequently to find Kaname, but he knew no one would ever dare yell at her over this.

"Fine." Kaname took a deep breath in. Maybe if she had a little experience fighting hollows, it would help her get over her panic.

The hollows that had been gathering, waiting for them to become distracted enough, rushed at them. Kaname could clearly hold his own, and Akina seemed to actually be doing fairly well for a first-timer in a serious fight. She didn't seem to be sustaining any serious injuries. Kaname couldn't help but be proud of her for that. Akina had gone ahead, into the group of hollows, but Kaname quickly realized that a moment's distraction had put him at a severe disadvantage. He was now surrounded.

Akina glanced back, and then used shunpo to get herself against Kaname's back, despite the circle of hollows. "Just focus." She murmured, and Kaname wasn't sure who that was directed to, her or him, maybe both of them.

He heard her slash a hollow, and it cried out. But then she let out a whimper and collapsed onto the ground. Fair enough, she had taken care of a great deal of them. He sensed the medic team's Shinigami and reinforcements coming, and he finished off the few remaining hollow around him before kneeling by Akina. "Akina." He frowned, why was her spiritual pressure falling? He touched her neck gently, and his hand came away warm, wet, and sticky. Blood. "Captain Unohana, take Akina." Kaname stood, gathering up Akina in his arms. "She's hurt. I'm not." A few minutes later, Akina was shunpo-admitted to the medic division, and Kaname, despite his job conditions, followed.

* * *

Waiting. That was the horrible part. Kaname was packed into the waiting room along with Shuuhei and Komamura, and no one was speaking, and they knew that Retsu Unohana herself was in there, trying to heal Akina. No one was speaking, and Kaname felt horrible. He should've known that she wouldn't hold up in that kind of battle, he should've made her leave and go back. This was his fault, he was sure.

"Don't blame yourself." Komamura said gently, shaking his head even though Kaname couldn't see it. "These things happen, but the medic Captain herself is working hard to heal her. It'll be alright."

Kaname said nothing. How could he possibly not blame himself? He had been the only one capable of protecting Akina at the time, and he had failed. And now she was hurt so badly that the medic captain herself had to heal her.

"Hey." Shuuhei sat beside Kaname. "So maybe you messed up." Komamura sighed at this, but let Shuuhei go ahead and try to make Kaname feel better. Shuuhei continued slowly. "But there's always tomorrow, isn't there? And there will be a tomorrow. You know her spiritual pressure better than I do, and I can tell it's getting stronger. She's a fighter, isn't she?"

Kaname nodded slightly. He had never told Shuuhei or Komamura about Akina's past – nothing other than she had come from a bad place. His mind shifted quickly. How would she ever be able to fight now? The one person who was supposed to have her back, him, hadn't, and now she was seriously injured. She'd hate him for it, he was sure. She'd be stuck in a low level position, and she'd hate him for that.

The door to the ER opened just enough to let Captain Unohana into the waiting room. Both Shuuhei and Komamura looked at her expectantly, and Kaname turned towards her.

"She's not quite out of the woods yet." Unohana murmured. "But for now she's stable. You can visit her for a few minutes if you want. One at a time though, I don't want her over stimulated." She stepped aside, pulling the door open for whoever was going first.

Kaname stood and found his way into the ER, following Akina's spiritual pressure through the halls and to the doorway.

Slowly, he put one hand on the doorknob and stepped inside.

* * *

A/N: Like I said, this is going to get darker for a while, until probably pretty close to the end. Likewise, there will be lighter moments mixed in, and I'm a sucker for a happy ending, even if it is more bittersweet. What'd you think?


	4. Promises Made to be Broken

A/N: Yeah... the plan for this chapter is a little skewed, so I don't know how this is going to go. My brain keeps going off on shipping tangents that involve a RP I'm doing. Yes, you know who you are. And which one I mean. Anyway, here's this chapter and I hope you like it despite the insanity I feel it will be.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I make no profit from this.

* * *

"Akina?" Kaname stepped inside the room, reaching to judge where a chair was. Was she awake? He couldn't tell by her spiritual pressure alone.

"Kaname..." Akina's voice had a smile to it, and Kaname was instantly relieved. "You're ok?" She didn't move, not at all, and Kaname couldn't help but wonder how bad the wound was and how much Unohana had been able to heal.

"Don't worry about me." Kaname's voice was truly stern with her, for the first time in years, maybe ever. "You shouldn't have come to find me like that. Now you're hurt." He couldn't have imagined ever thinking he'd have to be like this with her. He knew it was probably breaking her heart, and that she was likely terrified that he was mad, but he knew if he didn't tell her this now, there would be no getting out of it the second time.

The heart monitors went wild, and Kaname stood to get Unohana, but the medic captain was already in the door, a syringe in her hand. Injecting it into Akina's IV, Unohana turned to Kaname. "If you get her worked up again, you won't be able to visit." Unohana said calmly. "She doesn't need stress, not right now."

Kaname frowned behind his mask, but Unohana left without ordering him out of the room as soon as Akina's heart rate went back to a slow, steady beeping.

"I'm sorry." Kaname lowered his voice. "But I can't have you getting hurt anymore." He found her hand and held it. "I don't mean to make you upset. I just want to be able to know that you're alright." Memories of how he felt when he had lost his dear friend to her murderer husband came rushing back. "Try not to get into any more trouble from now on."

"I'll be good as long as you're around." Akina's words were slurred and she was close to sleep. "But if you ever... ever go, then I can't keep any promises..." Her grip on his hand faded, and only the steady beeping of her heart monitor kept Kaname calm. The meaning of her words seeping into his mind, he set her hand on her bed and disappeared out the door.

He wouldn't always be there for her, that was sure. Who would keep her safe after that?

* * *

Seeing Kaname exit, Shuuhei looked up at Komamura for clearance, and then slipped into Akina's hospital room. The girl was sound asleep, with a scar that started low on her throat, and disappeared under the hospital gown. It was about an inch in width, and ragged. Unohana clearly hadn't had much luck getting the scar tissue to fade, or maybe Akina just scarred easily.

Shuuhei sat beside the bed. Kaname had clearly been upset leaving the room, though he hadn't said anything, so how was Shuuhei supposed to have a clue about what was wrong? Hell, he probably wasn't.

Something had been up with Kaname lately, and Shuuhei couldn't be sure what it was. Still, it had something to do with Akina, and Shuuhei was worried. Whenever Kaname saw Akina, it seemed to be a mixture of happiness, regret, and worry. What could his Captain possibly be thinking? It was clear that he loved Akina, so why would he be acting like this? It would likely reveal itself with time, but Shuuhei didn't like the idea of waiting around to find out.

Still, the best he could do was watch over Akina for now.

* * *

Two days later, Unohana had said that Akina was making great strides in recovery. Kaname had done his best to forget Akina's promise, and Akina herself didn't seem to remember it either.

"Tell me the truth." Akina's pout bled into her tone. "Is it ugly?" Kaname was just about to ask her how he was supposed to answer that when Akina grabbed his hand and put it to her collarbone. He could feel the scar tissue, ragged around the edges, from just below her jugular vein and carotid artery, to the point where it disappeared under the neckline of the hospital gown. Akina frowned at his silence, but didn't let go of his hand.

"You're not dead." Kaname sighed. "That's the important thing." Forcing a smile onto his tired face, he hugged her close. Through the papery, thin hospital gown, he could feel the scar that clearly went down her chest, between her breasts, and then to mid-stomach. "Don't worry about it, alright? Anyone who cares about a scar isn't important."

"You're right." Akina laughed, and then flinched. "You're always right. I'm just being silly." She sat back onto her bed, Unohana said she shouldn't be standing for too long, but she held onto his hands. "I'm not sorry that I got hurt though. Because I was protecting you and you fight for justice, right?"

Kaname really wanted to believe he did, but sometimes it felt like he was lying to himself if he did. "I appreciate the gesture, but you need to let me handle these things on my own." Akina shrank back slightly, but her hands tightened around his, pulling him in.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "I'll be better from now on. I'll be good." Kaname knew too well where that phrase came from – anytime she felt she was harshly scolded she reverted back to what she told her Mother after she escaped a murder attempt.

"I love you." Kaname murmured, knitting his fingers with hers. He hated himself so much for making her say what she had said so long ago. He'd do anything to make her herself again.

Akina blinked, her eyes going wide. "I love you too." There was no hesitation in her voice. "Kaname?" She asked softly.

"Yes?" Kaname stood there and didn't let go of her hands. "What is it?"

"I... It's nothing, never mind." Akina crawled back into bed, letting go of his hands finally. "My head just hurts and I'm tired. I don't even know what I was going to ask anymore." Her laugh would've sounded genuine if it didn't have a nervous edge to it. "Don't you have work to do?"

Kaname sighed. Sure, he did, but he wanted to spend time with her, at least until she got better. "Shuuhei said he'd take care of it." He sat back down in the chair, trying to think. What could she have wanted to ask him, and why was she lying and saying she didn't remember? Could she possibly remember her promise to him days ago?

"Oh." Akina sat up a little, pulling the sheet over her legs. "Shuuhei is a good lieutenant, huh?" Her voice sounded bright again, like she hadn't even thought about asking him that certain something. Kaname nodded in response. "Oh no!" Akina exclaimed. "I was supposed to fill out my transfer papers the day before yesterday. They said I could go to the medic division on a trial basis."

"I'm sure Captain Unohana will let it slide." Kaname placed a hand on her arm. "It's not like you should be doing any form of work in your current state."

"I know." Akina laughed, and this time it was genuine. "I was just really excited about this. I wanted to get the ball rolling as soon as I could."

Kaname couldn't help but smile a little. "I'll go talk to Captain Unohana about it. Get some rest."

Akina curled up in her bed obediently. "Thank you." She murmured. Kaname just shook his head. He wanted to do all he could for her while he could.

* * *

A/N: I'm going to do a big skip pretty soon, and... I don't know where I was going with that sentence, honestly. Anyway, a big skip coming up soon. Keep an eye out for it! So, what did you think?


	5. Painful Goodbyes

A/N: There's so much I want to get done tonight, but I'm just hooked on writing these chapters. I'm having serious trouble trying to get anything else done. Anyway, I hope you like it. By the way, the big skip is in this chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or make any profit from this.

* * *

The following spring, Kaname and Akina bought a house together. Akina had gotten into the medic division, and managed to get to the fourth seat without much trouble. Living situations made them grow even closer – masks disappeared, Akina became happier, there were even discussions of marriage and babies, though they never got anywhere. Akina had become too much like her Mother in one way – a fear of marriage, and as for babies, Kaname was too worried that his blindness would be hereditary.

Years went by in flashes, and they were in love. Even as lovers, they had their spats, but nothing serious.

And then came the day he would leave. Akina knew nothing of it, like anyone else. Kaname had known since the beginning of their relationship that he would leave to stand by Aizen's side, but he didn't know it would be this _hard_. Akina had been sick the past week, and he was worried about leaving her, not to mention his heart was breaking, but he had to follow the path of justice, or at least what he saw of it.

Touching her feverish cheek, he smiled sadly. The note he had left her said it all, all he wasn't brave enough or stupid enough to tell her himself. _Dear Akina,_ _I won't be here. I can't take you into that path with me; you'll only get hurt. But someone will take care of you, Shuuhei or Komamura. Someday you might even love someone the way you love me. But... don't forget me. Because I love you. I'm always going to love you. But I know you can love again, and I only get this one path. So, please... live for me. Just live. If you fall for anyone, don't be scared to tell them like you were with me. And if you ever can't... really can't take it anymore... find a way to get to me._ _If you really can't take it anymore, I'll take you with me, and I'll protect you like you like I have all these years. But for now... I have to go. Live for me, alright?_

_-Kaname_

Kaname kissed her forehead and then took his leave.

* * *

"_He betrayed soul society."_ The rumor was true, and they had known it firsthand. Komamura and Shuuhei were in shock, as was the rest of the soul society.

"Where's Akina?" Komamura's eyes betrayed his panic. Akina was just a dear friend to them as Tosen had been, and he feared that Tosen had done something rash. It wasn't like him, but then again, they hadn't suspected he'd betray soul society either.

"Probably at home." Shuuhei was already turning to head that way. "We need to go check on her."

They used shunpo to get there quickly, and then used their key to get into the house. Akina's sobbing could clearly be heard from anywhere in the house, they discovered. They rushed to the bedroom, where they found her clutching the note in her hand. Her breaths were erratic, and she didn't seem to recognize either of them, as she shrank away from them in panic. Her face was flushed with panic, fear, sadness, and a high-grade fever. Not only all that, but she seemed to be having trouble breathing. Shuuhei knew all too well what it was – a panic attack mixed with a psychotic episode. Kaname had said something about her having them when her body was under a great deal of stress, such as when she had been sparring with him, but when she was sick and now under a great deal of mental and emotional stress, Shuuhei wasn't surprised.

"Akina, you need to calm down." Shuuhei sat down beside the bed, trying his best not to be a threat. "You need to calm down. We're friends. We won't hurt you." Akina smacked him with her zanpakuto sheath, sobbing and screaming. Komamura clearly didn't know what to do, he looked beyond worried. Shuuhei was doing his best to remain calm. After all, it wasn't Akina's fault that she was mentally and emotionally fragile. Still, being smacked with a zanpakuto sheath- or any item for that matter – didn't put him a good mood. "Akina." Shuuhei quickly tried again, a little louder. "Akina!" It was no use, he knew; Kaname had always been the only one who could calm her when she got like this. There really seemed to be no other solution than dragging her to fourth for Valium and to be put under strict observation. "Find Unohana and tell her Akina is coming in." Shuuhei heaved a sigh. "I'll bring her in, give me a few minutes."

Komamura nodded and opened the front door. Goro, Komamura's pet dog, came racing in and went directly to Akina, jumping onto the bed and licking her face. Oddly, that was the first time recognition flashed in the girl's eyes. "Goro..." She murmured, wrapping her arms around the dog's neck gently. Goro licked all over her face and neck, and that seemed to calm her.

"Are you alright?" Shuuhei asked gently.

"He's really gone, isn't he?" Akina whispered, burying her face in Goro's fur. Komamura had even paused in the doorway, waiting to see if the plan had changed. "He left us here alone." Akina's voice shook as she acknowledged it, and Shuuhei blinked. For some reason, he expected her to be worried about herself, not the three of them. Shuuhei nodded slightly. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Akina took a shaky breath and both Komamura and Shuuhei looked at her in surprise. "I can't be angry with him. I just... I think that he was misled. I can't be angry with him for that. I..." She crumpled in on herself, shuddering, and Goro leaned on her affectionately in response. Shuuhei gave Komamura a nod, signaling that he would take Akina to the medic division shortly. "I'll be ok!" Akina seemed to catch on rather quickly. "Please... no one leave just... right now, I can't..." She shuddered again and looked at them with pleading eyes. "If I'm not any better in twenty minutes, I'll go to the fourth. Just give me a little while to settle down on my own."

Shuuhei studied her; while visibly upset, she didn't seem to be a danger to anyone, not now anyway. "Alright." In all seriousness, she had a point. Kaname had morals, so him being misled really would explain it.

"Some day we'll show Kaname the truth." Komamura added, and to his surprise he got a smile out of the out of the girl.

"Yeah!" Akina's smile was vibrant despite the tears in her eyes, despite the tears rolling down her cheeks. "Someday he'll see."

In the end, Akina wasn't taken to the fourth. Shuuhei chose to spend the night there to keep an eye on her, and while Komamura couldn't stay, he left Goro there. Somehow, Shuuhei knew it would be a long night.

* * *

A/N: This was written partly on the computer, and then the rest on paper the next day; so if it feels disjointed, please tell me. Anyway, what'd you think?


	6. Bonds

A/N: This was handwritten for a long time before I typed it up, so it feels odd to me. Warn me if it feels odd to you too, please?

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or make any profit from this.

* * *

Akina sat in her room, staring at her wrists in silence. Scars crisscrossed the pale flesh, one for almost every murder attempt her Mother had done to her... and one extra on each wrist from the one and only time she had ever tried to end her own life. It had been roughly a year before she escaped, before Kaname rescued her. She'd tried so hard to make it all end, but she hadn't been able to make it do just that. And a year later, she'd been granted reprieve, taken away to this safe place. So why was she even thinking about this again?

Pain wracked her petite body as she forced a sob down. No, no, no! She had to be happy; she had to be ok for Shuuhei and Komamura. They were just as hurt, if not more than she was. They had witnessed him leaving; she had just been left a note. In a way, even though she felt gypped, she was thankful that she had been shielded from the worst of it. Akina wasn't quite sure she'd have been able to stay out of the fourth's psych ward if she'd actually seen Kaname leave.

She swallowed hard, but let the tears course down her face. _Don't wake Shuuhei. _She reminded herself._ He doesn't have the next week off of work like you do. He needs his rest._ Rolling onto her stomach to bury her face in the pillows and hide her sobs, she smacked her head on the headboard, resulting in a soft whimper to escape from her lips.

Shuuhei appeared in the doorway. "What happened?" He hovered there, clearly worried but not going to overreact.

"I bumped my head, I'm ok." Akina laughed, a horrible, jangling noise. "I'm ok, promise." _Liar, liar don't lie to Shuuhei!_ Akina curled up, feeling guilty instantly.

"Hey, I'll stay as long as you need me to." Shuuhei handed her a Kleenex to dry her face. "We're in this together, you, Komamura and I. Don't be afraid of needing someone. I know you were a one-man girl with Kaname, but he's not here right now, and you're going to need friends." Akina nodded slowly. She understood; it was just hard. For over a hundred years, she had been Kaname's girl, sheltered, loved, and treated well by her lover. Now she stood for nothing. She was just that medic division fourth seat, unimportant, mentally and emotionally exhausted. She'd go back to having her Mother try to kill her every day if she could have Kaname back. "Where's Goro?" Shuuhei asked. Akina pointed to the other side of the bed, on the floor, where Goro slept on a bed of comforters, blankets, and all of Akina's pillows except one. Akina had a sheet and a lone pillow, but she didn't seem to care. "Did you give him all of those?" Shuuhei would've laughed, maybe, if he didn't feel so tired and emotionally drained.

"He didn't seem comfortable on just the floor." Akina shrugged, and Shuuhei saw a little light in the darkness, the reasoning of why she wasn't in a fighting division.

Shuuhei shook his head. "Are you going to be alright here? Do you want me to stay with you until you fall asleep?" He glanced back at Goro who was running in his sleep. Maybe the dog did know the meaning of tension.

Akina shook her head, trying her best to perk up. "I'll be ok now." She crawled under the top sheet and smiled at him. "Try to get some sleep before work tomorrow, ok?" She closed her eyes, a plastic smile plastered on her lips. Shuuhei tucked the blanket around her and then slipped out of the room.

* * *

"Can I hang out with you?" Akina peeked into Shuuhei's office. Having time off without Kaname around was hard, and seeking a kindred soul to spend that time with had proved even more difficult. "I'll be good, I promise." Shuuhei blinked at the almost childlike afterthought she had added, but nodded. Akina looked down, and then slowly asked, "Are you too busy or can we talk?"

Shuuhei glanced around at the office, otherwise empty of people besides himself and Akina. "Shut the door. What's wrong?" Shuuhei put his pen down out of respect.

"About Kaname..." Akina began slowly, painstakingly. "Were there warning signs that I didn't see? I feel guilty, like I should've been able to stop him..." Akina dropped into a chair, but she was staring Shuuhei down. _Join the club_ is what he wanted to tell her, but he withheld that comment.

"I didn't see any warning signs." Shuuhei sighed. "But we weren't able to stop him either, and we were there. So don't feel bad." He paused, and when Akina didn't respond, he changed the subject. "How do you feel today?"

Akina broke into a smile. "Better! My fever broke before you came to talk to me last night... but... would you mind staying at my house... until..." Taking a deep breath and forcing the smile up, she continued. "Until I get used to Kaname not being there. It won't be too long, I swear."

Shuuhei nodded. "I will, but right now I've got paperwork to do, alright?" He picked up his pen to signal the end of the conversation. Akina leaned back in her chair, closing her eyes.

The clock ticked in the background.

* * *

A/N: There will be a sequel to this story, just a headsup. The title for it is not final, so I don't want to share it yet, but the planning for it is underway. Anyone excited? And what did you think?


	7. Training Part One

A/N: I'm not really keeping track of what chapter I'm on anymore, but it feels like I've befriended this project, as odd as that sounds. Anyway, we're going into the second half of our project since two chapters ago, and I'm splitting it in my mind by how it transitions... I'll stop explaining and give you the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I make no profit from this.

* * *

"What is this?" Captain Unohana looked at the paper that her fourth seat had placed on her desk. "Akina... Are you absolutely sure? You're doing so well..."

"I'm positive." Akina set her jaw. "It's too much for me right now. I can't take it here anymore." She slid the paper closer to her captain. "I don't want to work here, at least right now, Captain. I need to be moved on a trial basis to another division." A long pause made Akina squirm. "This sheet, if signed, will move me to Shuuhei Hisagi's division to be trained to fight for the next month."

"I know what it is." Unohana said softly. "Have you asked Shuuhei about this?" She looked up from the sheet at Akina's dead-set face.

"He said he would train me personally for a few hours each day for a month. No longer." Akina looked down at the sheet. "I know I do pretty well with healing kido, but I still feel weak. And I can't take it anymore. I want to be able to defend people without ending up in the psych ward, and the only way I feel I can do that is to work through it."

"If you need to come back here any time, tell me and I'll nullify the assignment." Unohana signed the paper and handed it back.

"Thank you Captain." Akina gave her a slight smile. "But I won't be doing that." She darted out of the division, heading straight for the eighth.

"Evening." Shuuhei noted her spiritual pressure without even looking up from his paperwork. "Do you have that signed?"

"Yes!" Akina pulled a chair over and perched on it, clutching the piece of paper. "So you'll really train me?" For the first time in the past two weeks, Akina seemed truly like herself.

"For a month." Shuuhei reached over and gently eased the paper from her hand. "And only a month. What you do after that will be up for debate when the month is over."

Akina smiled, squirming in her chair. "When can we start?" She was both nervous and excited, and it felt nice to feel _something_. She'd spent her week off of work feeling dulled. It was as if her emotions went from a dried out pen to a fresh highlighter. And it felt _good_. As long as she could keep certain people off her mind, she felt wonderful.

"Give me ten minutes." Shuuhei tucked the permission sheet into his desk, and then finished the paperwork up. "You have your zanpakuto, right?"

Akina nodded, touching her zanpakuto at her hip. "Yes, sir."

"You know you don't have to call me that." Shuuhei sighed heavily. "Follow me." He guided her outside, somewhere behind his division, in a training area. Seeing it made Akina's heart clench. This was where Kaname had tried to train her so many years before. "We're going to focus on offensive moves today..." Shuuhei began, already worrying over the girl. The look on her face showed her panic was already settling in. "And we're also going to focus on keeping your emotions separated from your battle. Both are equally important. Tomorrow, we'll be doing defense, depending on how you take to this lesson."

"Yes..." Akina shuddered. She knew that she had to trust Shuuhei, but the memory of Kaname's lips on hers was seeping into her mind.

Shuuhei held his zanpakuto at ready. "Come at me then."

Akina took a deep breath and focused on Shuuhei. Shuuhei holding his zanpakuto, Shuuhei standing in front of her. He was the important thing at the moment. Memories weren't important. Kaname wasn't here, and she needed to focus. She struck at his zanpakuto with her own, experimentally a few times. "Stop." Shuuhei grabbed the blade of her sword, being careful not to cut himself. "If you came at an enemy like that, you would be dead. You have to strike someone like you mean it, or you'll be killed in battle before you land one strike." When Akina's chin dropped to her chest in shame, Shuuhei had an idea. "I know you always worry about making people happy. But your enemy is not a person that you have to worry about keeping happy. You know that. Now take a few strikes at me like you mean it."

"Yes..." Akina stepped back slightly, then took a step forward, striking near the hilt of Kazeshini. Surprisingly, the zanpakuto was knocked from Shuuhei's hands. Shuuhei looked at her like he was seeing her through new eyes.

"This month will definitely be interesting." Shuuhei admitted as he bent down to grab his sword. "Let's see if you can do that again."

They practiced until it was well past dark. Akina was sweaty and shaky, but nowhere near giving up. She fought with her all until Shuuhei called her off.

"Go home and shower, then go to bed." Shuuhei sheathed his zanpakuto. "You did very well. How do you feel?" He almost added, don't lie to me, but Akina appeared to be in no state to lie.

"Better than I usually do after practice." Akina ran her sleeve across her forehead. "Thank you so much, senpai."

"You've called me by my name for years. Don't quit now." Shuuhei turned, heading for his office. "I'll be home within the hour, but lock the door. I've got a key." He disappeared inside.

Akina watched the door for a moment, and then started home. She couldn't imagine why Shuuhei was still living with her, she had told him a week at maximum, and when the week came to an end Shuuhei had said he'd rather stick around. Akina trusted him, though she couldn't trust him implicitly like she had Kaname. Not yet, he'd have to win that card.

She unlocked the door, and then locked it behind her. A blonde man with his hair covering one eye was lounging on the couch, stretched out.

"Izuru!" Akina started, then laughed. "Izuru, you startled me. What are you doing here?" When she saw the especially grim look on his face her eyebrows drew in. "What's wrong?"

"I need to talk to Shuuhei." Izuru sat up. "When will he be home?"

"He said within the hour." Akina smiled at Izuru. "Do you want anything to drink or eat? I can get you something-"

"I'm fine." Izuru's Eeyore look was dampened by a truly upset quality. "I'll just talk to him when he gets home."

"Alright." Akina smiled at him again, not letting his worry dampen her mood. She felt good, despite that she kind of hurt all over, she was shaking, and she was covered with a sheen of sweat. "Feel free to help yourself to anything. I'll be in the shower." She'd known Izuru long enough to not worry about him peeping or getting any other ideas. He had a good heart, despite being perpetually negative, and he cared deeply for all of his friends.

She shut the door of the bathroom and got into the shower. She quickly realized that the water pounding on her sore muscles was not therapeutic, or anything good, so she hurried through her shower. As she turned the water off, and wrapped herself in a towel, she heard Shuuhei talking.

"What do you mean he's been hollowfied?" Shuuhei was asking. "Like the people who were kicked out of soul society?"

"Exactly like that." Izuru sighed. "He's got hollow energy now in addition to the soul reaper energy. It's not a good situation."

Without thinking, Akina whipped open the bathroom door, still in only a towel. "Who was hollowfied?" She asked, despite the amusement in Shuuhei's eyes and the blush on Izuru's face. It really was funny how they could still find those emotions when they had been discussing something so serious.

"Akina, put some clothes on." Shuuhei locked eyes with her and didn't look down for one second. "It's cold in here, you'll catch another cold dripping wet and in only a towel."

"I'm not moving one inch until someone tells me what's going on." Akina clenched her jaw. She needed to know, especially if it was about Kaname. Could Kaname possibly have been hollowfied? Her precious Kaname that they were going to show the truth?

"Kaname was hollowfied." Izuru said after a long moment. "He now has hollow energy in addition to his spiritual pressure."

"Izuru." Shuuhei growled. He clearly was not pleased with this little development. Izuru telling Akina had not been on his agenda.

"But..." Akina clutched her towel to her tighter. "I'm sure he can still be reasoned with. And even if Soul Society won't take him back, he could live in the human world. It's not like it's over right?" Akina leaned on the wall. Oh, how she hated feeling weak. But Kaname was her weakness, and as far as she could tell he always would be.

"Izuru, out." Shuuhei pointed to the door. Izuru obeyed and was out within a matter of seconds. "Akina, go put some clothes on and then we'll talk."

Akina slowly regained the feeling in her head, and stood straight. "And when did you plan on telling me about Kaname being hollowfied?" She asked. She had half a mind to let her towel hand slip just to get him for this. Though, Shuuhei would likely never be the same if he saw her naked, and not in a good way.

"When Izuru left so if you had a panic attack I could handle it without him being in the way." Shuuhei was obviously pissed. "Go put some clothes on."

This time, Akina obeyed, and she went straight to bed without coming out to say goodnight to Shuuhei. Her body shook with the physical stress and emotional weight as she lay in bed, and then finally, she was able to slip away into sleep.

Akina's faith in Shuuhei was slipping though, and they both knew it.

* * *

A/N: A longer chapter that I didn't mean for it to be so long. Anyway, what'd you think? And, personal opinion, should that scene make Akina trust Shuuhei more or less?


	8. Training Part Two

A/N: I'm really hoping to have this finished soon, and get the sequel going. I have nights where the sequel is already writing itself in my head. Anyway, let's get going.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, and I make no profit from this.

* * *

"Shuuhei..." Akina whispered as Shuuhei passed her room. "I'm sorry." Her face was buried in a pillow; she didn't have to come into work until an hour and a half later than him. Still, they were both awake.

"Don't question my motives." Shuuhei had paused in front of her bedroom door, a thermos of something in his hand. "I was going to tell you. But we both know how you get, and I didn't think you wanted to possibly have a psychotic episode in front of Izuru." Shuuhei took a sip of his drink.

"I'm sorry." Akina repeated, pressing herself into her pillows and blankets. Gods, not only did everything she have hurt right now, but her chest felt as if it was seizing up, a sure sign that she was going to cry soon. She couldn't take people she loved being mad at her.

That, and it was hospital room with Kaname all over again.

"Don't apologize." Shuuhei shook his head. "Just trust me from now on. I won't let you down." He started down the hall, away from her room.

Akina forced a smile to paint itself on her face. "Right! Will do!" She called after him as energetically as she could.

Shuuhei glanced back. She was faking it, but he had to get to work. Knowing her, she'd be perfectly fine by the time she came into work. "I'll see you in at nine, then." He called over his shoulder. He heard Akina mumble something and he paused. "What's that?" He asked.

"Nothing!" Akina's perky voice returned without hesitation, but Shuuhei could've sworn he had heard her say "bite me". Hm, he must've misheard her.

As he disappeared out the door, calling back a goodbye, Akina walloped a pillow at the bedroom door, slamming it shut.

Oh, Gods. If she were ever able to get out of this bed, it was going to be a very long day.

* * *

"You're not used to this division yet, are you?" Shuuhei's lips perked slightly at the corners. Akina was clearly trying her hardest to fit in, and failing miserably. With an emphasis on the miserably.

"It's ok, really!" Akina smiled at him, and this time it was genuine. "It'll just take me a little bit. It took me a couple weeks to get used to the fourth after I had been in the thirteenth, so I'll get used to it."

"You can stop faking." Shuuhei said, raising an eyebrow at her. "I heard what you said this morning." He wasn't sure what he expected in way of a reaction.

"S-sorry, sir!" Akina blushed bright red. "I'm not much of a morning person..." She looked away, thoroughly embarrassed. "I didn't mean it."

Shuuhei held in his laughter. "Any of my other division members would get into some trouble if they said that to me." He was trying to be serious, but it came out as teasing.

"Why are you still living in my house?" Akina looked at him, blush fading. "I said you could move back out if you wanted, and you stayed. Do you not trust me by myself?" Akina's tone was soft, but somber.

Shuuhei wasn't quite sure what it was. Was it that he was protecting his old best friend's lover? Or was it something else completely? Lowering his voice, he sighed. "I think Kaname would want you to not have to go through this alone." Memories of Kaname's letter zinged through Akina's body, creating pains in her chest and head. The sad thing was that she still had that letter; she refused to get rid of it. Shuuhei had found it and questioned her, but she had just hid it somewhere new when she got it back.

"I need to be excused for a moment." Akina stepped away from Shuuhei's desk, heading for the women's bathroom just down the hall.

"Your training is in thirty minutes." Shuuhei called after her. It may have sounded harsh, but with any luck it would do what that phrase was trying to do: distract Akina from the little freak-out that she was going to have.

"Right!" Akina called before ducking behind the door. She stood over one of the sinks, splashing water on her face. She didn't need this right now; she couldn't deal with this during her training, and certainly not in front of anyone. She took a few deep breaths, rubbed some cool water on her temples to quell the impending headache, and then leaned against the wall. "You're stronger than this." She told herself, though she didn't feel it at all. "You don't need to have these breakdowns. You can handle anything that anyone throws at you." Akina shook her head, she just felt like she was lying to herself.

"Ten minutes." She heard Shuuhei add. That little pep talk would have to do, for now at least.

"Coming!" Akina smoothed her hair, more of a nervous habit than her actually being worried about how she looked. She bolted out of the bathroom and back to Shuuhei's office.

"You alright now?" Shuuhei was stacking up papers, setting up labels to place on top of each stack to say where they went.

"I'm fine." Akina looked at the stacks of papers. "You have a lot of paperwork." She noted, eyeing the inches-thick piles.

"It's fine, I'm used to it." Shuuhei stood. "What are we working on today?" He quizzed her.

"Well, defense..." Akina said slowly. "But you said it would depend on how I did with yesterday's lesson." Akina was not excited about her defense lesson. People attacking her, whether for practice or in real time and life, made her panic.

"You did well." Shuuhei guided her out to the same training area. "So we are moving on to defense. You still need to remember to keep your emotions at bay during this session as well."

"Right." Akina unsheathed her zanpakuto, holding it at ready. As Shuuhei taught her how to block attacks, how to maneuver a defense into an attack, and everything else Akina would need to learn, Akina found her fear fading. Shuuhei was being careful, without babying her. He was teaching her, and being a little blunt when she got things wrong, but he wasn't treating her like she would never know how to fight. And he wasn't treating her like she was naïve, either; just that there were some things she should know.

Still, both of them could tell the defense lessons were going to go much more slowly.

* * *

A/N: This is a shorter chapter, compared to the last one. Anyway, I hope you liked it, even though it felt more uneventful than the last.


	9. Bonds Tested

A/N: I'm actually getting pretty exhausted, so if you see any typos in this chapter, please notify me in a review or PM. Thanks.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or make any profit from this.

* * *

Time passed, and eventually, the month was up. Akina had filled out a transfer sheet, hoping to be transferred to Shuuhei's division, but when she stood before him with the transfer sheet in her hand, Shuuhei shook his head. "We both know you're not cut out for a fighting division, Akina. I taught you fighting skills so you could be helpful in an emergency, but you're not going to be able to get by in a division like mine."

Akina swallowed hard, but mustered up a small smile. "I understand." She nodded. "I have to get back to Captain Unohana then, so I'll see you at home?"

"Wait for me outside the fourth. I'll walk you." Shuuhei turned back to his papers. "You're very important in the fourth division, you know. Fourth seat is a good place to be."

Akina smiled a little more, and this time it was closer to genuine. "You're right, of course." She laughed, but it had that horrible jangling quality to it. Alarms went off in Shuuhei's head. "I'll do my best for Captain Unohana."

"You need to go straight there." Shuuhei aimed to distract her from her own problems. "I heard that they're completely swamped. They'll need you."

Akina jolted, suddenly alert. "I'll go right now." She used shunpo to exit the room.

Shuuhei sighed. Nearly two months since Kaname had left, and that girl was still a mess. At least he was trying to help her, and she had befriended Komamura too, often going on walks with him and Goro. Shuuhei didn't like to think about where she would be without them, but then again, he didn't want to think where he would be if he didn't have them either.

* * *

"Ah! Shuuhei!" Akina blushed madly and resituated the shower curtain so Shuuhei had absolutely no chance to see her. "I'm in the shower, why are you in here?"

"I needed to brush my teeth. I want to go to bed." Shuuhei stared into the mirror, not even trying to look in at her.

"Alright, alright, but can you tell me you're there next time, please?" Akina sighed. If it hadn't been for her damn long hair, she would've been out nearly ten minutes ago and she wouldn't be in this situation.

"Do you honestly think I would let someone in here while you're in the shower?" Shuuhei paused, standing there with toothpaste on his toothbrush. The notion was just so ridiculous.

"Well, you're in here." Akina shot back, trying to rinse the conditioner from her hair as quickly as possible. Damn it, if it led to this, she was going to cut her hair shorter than she'd ever wanted to. And he was putting her in a foul mood by being in there alone. "Just warn me next time, please. I thought it was going to be like that scene from _Psycho_."

Shuuhei knew as soon as he released that chuckle that he was in for it. "You're being ridiculous, Akina." He shook his head. "I wouldn't let someone come in here and kill you."

"In my mind, you were already dead." Akina peeked around the shower curtain, using it to hide most of her body. "If you're going to brush your teeth then brush them, but can you hand me my towel so I can get out?" Her smile was nonexistent, her eyebrows furrowed with annoyance.

Shuuhei obediently handed her the towel, and then proceeded to brush his teeth. Still, he did glance over once she stepped out of the shower. He couldn't help but notice that the scar, that he'd never seen all of, which started at her throat, was just as visible as the day Unohana had healed it. "You couldn't find a way to get rid of that?" He asked through a mouthful of toothpaste, and though he didn't mean it rudely, that was how it came out.

"You couldn't get yours to fade either." Akina was on par with him now, being none too polite, even if she didn't mean to be. She poked the scar from the hollow scratch over his eye.

Shuuhei went back to brushing his teeth and Akina grabbed her clothes off the closed toilet lid, skittering out and to her room.

Shuuhei tried to ignore the odd feeling in his chest and head.

* * *

Months passed, and Shuuhei still didn't move out, but there weren't any arguments about it anymore either. With a war impending between Aizen's army and the soul reapers, Akina was a nervous wreck, though strangely her psychotic episodes had subsided.

But they knew something would have to change. _"Nothing gold can stay"_, and with an ever-impending war, that phrase stood for everything.

* * *

A/N: Hey, we're actually nearing the end. I want to finish this up ASAP, so hopefully it will be done soon. I hope you're enjoying it, but go ahead and tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is the best!


	10. War, Revelations and Choices

A/N: Hopefully this will be done tonight, as I don't have to wake up early. Anyway, enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or make any profit off of this.

* * *

It wasn't that Akina was a nervous wreck, not at all. She was actually faring quite well for the situation. While she didn't like the talk of war against Aizen's army, she complied with her captain's orders about planning and such; she still flinched when someone mentioned killing or fighting the opposing "army".

"You alright?" Shuuhei asked as he studied her. Akina sat on the couch, staring at her hands. She hadn't been very receptive to anything lately, and while Shuuhei knew she'd be alright eventually, he didn't like leaving her alone yet again. "Akina." He stepped closer to her, ruffling her hair gently. "Cheer up. We'll finally get a chance to show Kaname the truth." In response, Akina dropped her chin to her chest. Shuuhei blinked as he recognized the emotion in her eyes: guilt. "Hey, tell me what you're thinking."

"I don't want to talk about it." Akina whispered. "Just stay safe out there, ok? I can't have you leave me too. I just can't."

"I'm not going to leave you. I'm going to bring Kaname back." Shuuhei ruffled her hair again. "Cheer up, alright?"

"Captain Unohana ordered me to stay behind with my relief team until the fighting is over." Akina shook her head. "And I won't be there. So... I'm trusting you and Komamura not to die on me, alright?"

"We'll come through." Shuuhei smoothed her hair for her. "Just try not to stress too much."

"Yeah." Akina perked up a little, a small smile coming across her face. "I can do that."

* * *

The battle came and went, but it became apparent sometime in the middle that Kaname Tosen would not return to soul society, or even to the human world. When Shuuhei dealt that fatal blow, he knew he'd have hell to pay for it.

Akina's relief team appeared when the fighting was over, just as Captain Unohana had ordered. She glanced around, and when she spied Shuuhei, visibly relaxed. However, she didn't seem to look for Kaname. Shuuhei was puzzled, but didn't distract her from her work.

Eventually, when the injured were healed, she came over to him. "How'd it go?" She asked, but the grim look in her eyes said she could take a guess.

Shuuhei shook his head. "Komamura and I are alright, at least."

Akina really surprised him this time. "I'm glad both of you are safe." She hugged Shuuhei gently. There were no tears, no anger, no nothing. She just seemed tired and... relieved. "I knew he wouldn't come home... but you're still here, and Komamura's still here. So there's a pearl of hope in darkness of this oyster." She slowly let go of him and found Komamura, giving him a hug as best her tiny arms could.

Shuuhei couldn't help but wonder... how could she be so happy when her lover was dead?

* * *

"What are you doing?" The panic in Akina's voice was clear. "Shuuhei, what are you doing, put that down, please!"

Shuuhei willingly dropped the box. "Moving out. It's been a long time, Akina, you don't need me here anymore." An experiment. That's what this was. Sure, he'd move out if she told him to go, but he was testing her. He had his sneaking suspicions about why she had looked so guilty right before the winter war, but he doubted she'd fess up so easily.

"No. I enjoy your company. Please stay." Akina's voice was shrill with panic. Shuuhei knew he had to be careful about which of her buttons he was pressing, but in the same vein he couldn't be too careful.

"Why do you want me here?" Shuuhei sat on the couch, eyeing her. "Don't you want to find someone to love and have them move in? Why am I so important?"

Fool that he was, Shuuhei couldn't see the signs to confirm it on his own. At least, that's how Akina saw it. "Shuuhei..." She sank into a chair. "Shuuhei, I feel like a whore." She buried her hands in her hair, her eyes darting all over the room.

"You haven't had a date in how many years and you think you're a whore?" Shuuhei blinked and then shook his head. "I've lived here for so long that we became used to each other in almost every way imaginable, and in all that time you never so much as brought someone past the living room. As far as I know you haven't kissed anyone since Kaname."

"I haven't..." Akina sighed, trying to force a smile onto her face and failing. "I just don't think I should be pining for my ex-lover's friend."

Shuuhei blinked again, he was right. And sure, he'd felt the same way. He shouldn't be liking his best friend's lover, especially when his best friend might be coming back. But now, all bets were off.

"Come on. We'll talk about this in the morning." Shuuhei eased her onto her feet. "You haven't been sleeping well, so get some rest and we'll talk in the morning."

"Please don't leave." Akina eyed the box on the floor. "I couldn't take it."

"I'm not going to go anywhere." Shuuhei kicked the box aside. "I promise, I'll be here in the morning."

"Alright... goodnight." Akina gave him a lingering hug before disappearing into her room.

Shuuhei knew that all things had to have an end and a beginning, and that essentially, while one chapter of their lives had ended, another was beginning.

* * *

A/N: And cut! The sequel story, The Clock is Chiming, will pick up exactly where this one leaves, albeit the next morning. So, what'd you think?


End file.
